Close to Me

by Jaspar Lepak

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1.
2.
River Song 03:57
Oh River of Song, flow through me Let me be a riverbed for your melody Oh River of Song, flow through me Oh River of Joy, be my guide Take me to the water where the sun makes the river shine Oh River of Joy, be my guide Oh River of Sorrow, do not stay Help me cry the tears I need to cry, then be on your way Oh River of Sorrow, do not stay Oh River of Peace, make me whole Heal the hurt and anger that make war deep inside my soul Oh River of Peace, make me whole Oh River of Truth, light my way Walk me through the darkness, hold my hand when I feel afraid Oh River of Truth, light my way Oh River of Love, fill me up Let me be the one who gives everything I've got Oh River of Love, fill me up Oh River of Song, flow through me Let me be a riverbed for your melody Oh River of Song, flow through me
3.
Close to Me 03:43
Stars will shine, birds will sing Flowers will bloom, and bells will ring Planets turn, hearts will yearn Waves will roll across the sea I’ll keep you close, close to me Rivers flow, mountains rise Clouds they float across the sky Rain will fall, roots will grow The wind will blow wild and free I’ll keep you close, close to me To the great unknown We will set our sails With you in my boat I will float weightless on the waves Planes will fly, feet will run Miles will be crossed, and hearts become one Children laugh, dreamers dream Lovers dance cheek to cheek I’ll keep you close, close to me I’ll keep you close, close to me
4.
When the towers came down, every heart felt the sound With the world on our side an open stage on which to cry We shut our ears, dried our tears We said someone must pay for the pain they caused that day We will have war. We will have fear The way back home, straight as the crow flies Over purple mountains and spacious skies The war is here inside our fear Hear the oceans roar! Let them bring the weary pilgrims to our shores! Can we still be free if we lose our symbols of freedom? Throw the mountain tops in Appalachian streams Strip the land to mine the coal, pollute the rivers, drill the oil It’s not our greed, it’s what we need It’s just the way the deals get made Those with the money have more say And tomorrow is not today Keep the mountains tall! Let the rivers run! Can we still be free if we lose our symbols of freedom? And the morning news is filled with guns Held by reckless ones shooting helpless ones We all carry the blame when we won’t feel the pain We make the spark of the unborn much more sacred than our children Who are already grown Send the big ones off to war, doesn’t matter what we’re fighting for As long as it’s for America Raise your voices high! Let them soar with the eagle through the sky! Can we still be free if we lose our symbols of freedom?
5.
I have lost my greatest battle It’s only one but still it hurts
 I really thought that you were ready To judge a woman for her work I am far, so far from perfect Still I thought that you could see How I’ve lived my life for service How I love my country And I listened to the preachers preach love
 And I listened when I heard the words of god
Love your neighbor, welcome strangers, fight for justice Oh the years have taught me patience To stay the course I’ve played the part I may seem cold, I am seem callous
 A woman learns to hide her heart And I listened to the teachers in school
 And I listened when they said play by the rules
 And I listened when they told me I could be what I wanted And I wanted to break that ceiling
 For all the girls whose hands are reaching
 Still the glass is left un-shattered Another man again will lead And I listened when he said he’d build a wall
 And I listened when he bragged he could kiss and grab them all And I listened every time he made me small 
And you listened You listened
6.
You used to believe in me I didn’t change, what can’t you see? Don’t leave me now Don’t leave me now Your arms were once my steady shore I swam to you, took shelter Oh in your arms, I kept hanging on Don’t leave me now Will I make it through? Will my dreams die too? Without your love I’m lost inside the blue Please don’t leave me Don’t you leave me Please don’t leave me now Don’t leave me now Don’t leave me now Your eyes were once my starry sky You held the mirror You showed me how I shined What made you change your mind? Don’t leave me now You used to believe in me
7.
Rain is the sound of my dreaming Rain is the color of my tears Rain is the music I keep hearing Rain is the drum inside my ears I come from the harsh desert country Where the sage brush and the dry grass grow I know the cry of the lonely coyote I know the heat that burns straight to the bottom of my soul And the rain is the sound of a promise And the rain is the medicine I know I am a child of so many generations I am an immigrant whose history is unknown I was raised in the arms of one true religion I escaped to embrace all creation as my home And the rain is the sound of my family And the rain has no color has no race And the dream I still hold for my country Is that we learn to love each other in this place And the rain is the sound And the rain is the sound And the rain is the sound
8.
Let the sun rise through my window Every morning, let it shine Through the dark night, through the gray clouds Let the new day fill my eyes I just wanna live a life I can fall into Be everything I am, do everything I can To let the love shine through Let the heart feel what it wants to Let my dreams be what they are Through the hard times, through the struggles Let my heart stay open wide I just wanna live a life I can fall into Be everything I am, do everything I can To let the love shine through So many things to know, so many ways to grow If only we can learn to reach For each other’s hands, do everything we can to hold each other close and free Every human heart plays a different part shines a light all of its own When the new day comes, we will be the ones who know this light will guide us home
9.
When I was young I thought love held the key In your arms I heard music a sweet melody But somehow in these rooms nothing shines, nothing blooms And the silence between us is all that we keep At night I go out, start the car by myself In my bag I have brought my dancing shoes There's a place filled with lights, they play music I like And without you I'm learning to dance If I was a painter, I'd paint a still life For the love that has stalled in this house, in this home And if you were a dreamer whose dreams did not waver You'd reach for me now, but your touch has gone cold At night I go out, start the car by myself And you never even ask me where I'm going There's a place filled with lights, they play music I like And without you I'm learning to dance When did our love lose its wings? When did our voices forget how to sing sweet harmony Did they ever know? I wish you could see how I dance round the room How I move, how I glide, how I step right in time I am not here for love or the arms of another I just want the music inside me again At night I go out, start the car by myself How I wish you would ask me where I’m going There's a place filled with lights, they play music I like And without you I'm learning to dance. Without you, I am learning to dance
10.
Love has never been an easy game I always lose the final round Home has never been a certain place It always moves when I start to settle down I have sailed to every distant sea I leave love before love can leave me It feels much easier to lose than keep These dreams of home Carry me home, carry me home Carry me home, carry me home My foolish heart is like a gypsy wind A lonely ship, a skipping stone Tossed by lovers lies and promises Fated to wander and to roam Then I found you in the wilderness You melted years of ice with just one kiss Beneath the tough skin of our surfaces We found a home Carry me home, carry me home Carry me home, carry me home You feel like the sunlight Of my childhood days When love filled up my family And family kept me safe Carry me home, carry me home Carry me home, carry me home (X2)
11.

Go to the window child and look out at the night Hear the church bells ringing, see the glow of Christmas lights If you listen closely, you’ll hear voices in the air The distance between life and death grows thin this time of year Go to the window, breathe on the glass Your life is like your breath upon the window Your life won’t last Winter is a season when the weather turns so cold We need a fire to warm us and a caring hand to hold Many walk upon the earth in constant want and need In life I did not see them, I ignored their suffering Go to the window, breathe on the glass Your life is like your breath upon the window Your life won’t last Heed my warning and love while you can My name is Jacob Marley, I’ve been dead for many years I come to you I know not how, but please lend me your ears See these chains I wear, they’re made of purses wrought in steel I lived my life for money, now my business is to feel Oh, child believe me, hell is not a fiery place There are no devils, no demons, only the suffering of the human race In death you will feel what in life, you refused to feel Between you and their pain and their suffering there is no veil I have been wandering the whole earth I feel every hurt, hear every cry I have no means to offer comfort My time is passed but you are still alive Can you hear their hearts screaming loudly in the dark? Child, when you hear the spirits calling in the night Do not fear, they mean no harm, they are but haunted cries Heed them as a warning and remember Marley’s chains Make charity your business and may kindness guide your way Go to the window, breathe on the glass Your life is like your breath upon the window Love while you can

about

Two months before I was due to have my first baby, I had this crazy idea to record a solo album. I think it was my way of preparing for the new life that was about to arrive. I needed a home for some of the songs I had been carrying in order to have space for the new things to come. So I worked like mad to get these songs ready for the studio, and I recorded over a weekend in April—just two weeks before my daughter was born! “Close to Me” is simple and intimate—just me in a room with my guitar. My goal was to capture the moment, and it was a pretty special moment! I call it a solo album, but at thirty-eight weeks pregnant, my daughter was with me the whole time. I hope you enjoy the intimacy of this collection!

credits

released September 23, 2017

Engineered and recorded by Floyd Reitsma at Hall of Justice in Seattle, WA.

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Jaspar Lepak Seattle, Washington

A child of the Sonoran Desert, Jaspar Lepak is a folk/Americana songwriter whose remarkable gift for melody is only surpassed by her poetry. Deeply influenced by the many places she has called home (Tucson, Minneapolis, Durban, and currently Seattle), she sweeps across landscapes with an emotional depth that is extraordinary, while her clear, pure voice touches the heart. ... more

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